Our Public Institutions Need Intervention or Not (OPINION pt 1)

Photo of Our Public Institutions Need Intervention or Not (OPINION pt 1)

Mario Pissarra, 3 February 2014

Note: this was originally posted on ASAI Connect on 5 December 2013

Desperate terrorists have hacked their way into ASAI’s facebook page, where they have released a weapon of crass distraction code-named OPINION. According to the Ministry of Counter-Intelligence in the Newly Independent Bantustan of the Mind, OPINION apparently translates “Our Public Institutions Need Intervention Or Not”.

hereos resized

The earnest hacks described OPINION as:

“A light campaign aimed at generating serious debate about the state of key public institutions in the arts sector, in the vain hope that some people do care and can do something to improve the performance and accountability of our nation’s finest.”

According to the opinionated geeks, the newly appointed members of the Council of Iziko Museums should be subjected to a multiple-choice test to establish their suitability for their divinely-ordained mission. Only failures will be accepted.

[The Questionnaire Part 1]

Iziko Museums of South Africa is:
– An empowering institution
– An international resource
– A paranoid government department
– A bad idea

Iziko Museums is run by
– Its CEO, when s/he is around
– The Department of Arts & Culture
– Its marketing department
– Remote control

Iziko’s Council is
– Full of knowledgeable, energetic sorts
– Full of careerists, political hacks and social butterflies
– Full from lunch
– More expensive than a rubber stamp

The chairperson of the Council is appointed because
– S/he has relevant skills and experience
– S/he knows someone who knows someone
– S/he is sexy
– Someone must sit at the head of the table

Iziko Museums urgently needs
– To decentralise decision-making to its individual museums
– A bath
– Divine intervention

The structure of Iziko Museums was designed by
– A recently surfaced member of the underground
– A mole
– Space Invaders
– An advertising executive

The theme song of Iziko is:
– Sitting in limbo (Neville Brothers)
– The house that Jack built (Aretha Franklin)
– What goes up must come down (Blood Sweat & Tears)
– Born under a bad sign (Albert King)

Which of the following songs were recommended as theme songs but did not make the short list, due to their political incorrectness?

– Leaving on a jet plane (Peter, Paul & Mary)
– We don’t need no education (Pink Freud)
– Too many chiefs but not enough Indians (Dean Martin)
– A boy named Sue (Johnny Cash)

 

DAMAGE CONTROL: ASAI regrets any embarrassment caused by this act of virtual piracy and would like to make it clear that it is entirely irresponsible for the hacking of its facebook page.

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